Arnott's Biscuits - The Definitive Ranking


Without further ado, I present the 100% correct, objective, inarguable list of Arnott’s biscuits, ranked so far:

  1. Raspberry Shortcake
  2. Iced VoVo
  3. Kingston
  4. Monte Carlo, Black Forest
  5. Monte Carlo
  6. Mint Slice
  7. Obsession, Mint Chocolate
  8. Obsession, Salted Caramel
  9. Tim Tam, Original
  10. Caramel Crowns
  11. Tim Tam, Butterscotch & Cream
  12. TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Caramel Delight
  13. Wagon Wheel
  14. Royals, Milk Chocolate
  15. Premier Chocolate Chip Cookies
  16. TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Original Glazed
  17. Custard Cream
  18. Gaiety
  19. Tic Toc
  20. Nice
  21. Chocolate Teddy Bear
  22. Butternut Snap Cookie
  23. TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Lemon Glaze
  24. Venetian
  25. Tiny Teddy, Half-Coated Chocolate
  26. Chocolate Monte
  27. TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Kookies & Kreme
  28. Malt-O-Milk
  29. Delta Cream
  30. Snack Right Pillow
  31. TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Mocha
  32. Scotch Finger, Choc Chip
  33. TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Choc Iced
  34. TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Strawberry Sprinkle
  35. Orange Slice
  36. Tina Wafer
  37. Iced VoVo, Lamington
  38. Lemon Crisp

Alternatively, you can see the most recent reviews here:

16 Jan, 2023

Obsession, Salted Caramel

Obsession Round Two: Overpriced Boogaloo.

7 Nov, 2022

Obsession, Mint Chocolate

“It’s one banana Michael, what could it cost? Ten dollars?"

18 Aug, 2022

Tim Tam, Butterscotch & Cream

Winner of the popularity contest.

28 Jul, 2022

Tina Wafer

The Tina Wafer - strange name for a biscuit, isn’t it? - disappoint me a little.

3 Jul, 2022

TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Mocha

Back by popular request, by my number one fan.

23 Jun, 2022

Malt-O-Milk

You know those biscuits that came in the old tins that your nan would eventually use for storing sewing needles?

1 Jun, 2022

Snack Right Pillow

What if we had a sugary biscuit… but market it as “healthy”?

11 May, 2022

Arno Shortbread

The little-known sibling of the Scotch Finger rock-star. How does it stack up?

4 May, 2022

Premier Chocolate Chip Cookies

News to me that Arnott’s has a ‘farmbake’ sub-brand – this review series will truly never run out of content.

23 Mar, 2022

TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Lemon Glaze

Fun fact: Krispy Kreme doesn’t even sell the Lemon Glaze donuts in Australia, and yet they have a biscuit imitation of it on supermarket shelves.

2 Mar, 2022

Wagon Wheel

First, we need to address the size debate.

2 Feb, 2022

Tiny Teddy, Half-Coated Chocolate

If you had these in your school lunchbox, you’re a certified Legend™.

15 Jan, 2022

Chocolate Teddy Bear

Simplicity can be bliss.

17 Dec, 2021

Lemon Crisp

I like lemon desserts, but this abomination stands alone.

25 Nov, 2021

Butternut Snap Cookie

Nothing can top the crunch factor on this bad boy.

14 Nov, 2021

Gaiety

Yeah, I’d never heard of it either.

4 Nov, 2021

Tim Tam, Original

Ah, the venerable Tim-Tam. On some level, I’m astounded I’ve made it this far without reaching for this yet.

12 Oct, 2021

Kingston

I have wandered the desert for a long time, from Tee Vee Snack to citrus abomination; it is time to come home.

6 Oct, 2021

TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Kookies & Kreme

We will close the Krispy Kreme saga not with a bang, but with a whimper.

28 Sep, 2021

TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Choc Iced

The penultimate review in the Krispy Kreme collaboration is not the ultimate in ranking.

8 Sep, 2021

Orange Slice

Being really really old does not mean it is good; take Rupert Murdoch, for example.

8 Sep, 2021

Venetian

Being a rough-looking biscuit gives the Venetian the look of a made-with-love homemade snack.

1 Sep, 2021

Scotch Finger, Chop Chip

This is the weirdest flavour mash-up I’ve seen so far, and even more shocking, I actually like them.

24 Aug, 2021

Iced Vovo

Arnott’s got it right when they called it ‘an Australian icon.’

18 Aug, 2021

Caramel Crown

C h e w e y.

16 Aug, 2021

Chcolate Monte

No, it’s not the Monte Carlo.

11 Aug, 2021

TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Caramel Delight

Moving swiftly on from the offensive Strawberry flavour to this subtle choice.

8 Aug, 2021

TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Strawberry Sprinkles

I feel like I can sum this review up with a single, well-known image:

3 Aug, 2021

Royals, Milk Chocolate

News to me that there was ever a Dark Chocolate verison of these - stay tuned for that one if I can ever find them, I guess.

28 Jul, 2021

Mint Slice

I cannot resist scraping the cream off each biscuit in a bizarre deconstruction compulsion.

25 Jul, 2021

Raspberry Shortcake

Can a biscuit get any better?

15 Jul, 2021

Delta Cream

In the first post I called these overrated, and I stand by it.

7 Jul, 2021

TeeVee Snacks, Krispy Kreme Original Glazed

The fact they market this range as ‘Arnott’s x Kirspy Kreme’ like it’s a hypebeast shoe drop is hilarious.

2 Jul, 2021

Nice

I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is the best bickie in the Family Assorted pack.

1 Jul, 2021

Monte Carlo, Black Forest

I was a bit harsh on the Lamington Iced Vovo, but Arnott’s is insistent on trying to make this combination strategy work.

30 Jun, 2021

Tic Toc

Did you ever make those little lolly-face biscuits with Maries in primary school?

21 Jun, 2021

Iced VoVo, Lamington

If you asked me for the most iconic Australian recipies, along with pavlova and vegemite, the lamington would definitely make the cut.

17 Jun, 2021

Monte Carlo

Arnott’s claims this is possibly their most iconic biscuit. Not to be the Provocative Opinion Person, but I do have to disagree (surely it’s the Tim Tams.)

14 Jun, 2021

Custard Cream

Every time I pick these up, I’m always thrown off by the length of the packaging. It’s hard to convey it exactly, but the dimensions just feel... off.